Drives Me Crazy

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​Fine Young Cannibals (the band) sings:
​She drives me crazy
Like no one else
She drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself. ​

My version of the lyrics are:
It drives me crazy
Like nothing else
It drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself.

I choose to use "it" instead of "she" when describing what drives me crazy because it provides me with more potential sources of irritation. In fact, sometimes I have to use "it" because I don’t know who or what has irritated me (at least not right away). When I figure it out, sometimes it's a particular person. Sometimes I share the wealth by allowing a group of people to irritate me. Sometimes it's no one in particular. In fact, sometimes I'm the source or my own irritation. I like to think I'm an equal opportunity person. Everyone and everything can drive me crazy. 

The Process
If you’re like me, sometimes you can sense that you're getting irritated before you actually pinpoint the source. Sometimes you get irritated quickly and sometimes it takes a while before you are officially annoyed. Depending on the situation and your personality type, once you realize there's a problem you either try to keep from showing your irritation (use your poker face) or show that irritation and deal with the consequences right away. Sometimes the decision about how to respond to a situation is made for you, like when a third party walks into a room just as you're about to say something. Sometimes you decide on one course of action only to have it change. For example, sometimes I have the urge to give someone a piece of my mind only to discover that I've already lost my mind and there's nothing left to give. 

Problems with the Process
The process for dealing with life's irritations is not clear cut. You have to:

• Be able to assess each situation quickly so that you don't give an inappropriate response.
• Know where to draw the line between always complaining about something and never dealing with your emotions and the consequences of either your action or inaction.  
• Wear your poker face until you decide the best way to respond to a situation. I've tried and failed to mask my emotions. All my emotions are on display for everyone to see. I hate it. I’ve jokingly said that Botox injections or too much plastic surgery might be beneficial to me so that my face won't respond as quickly to what I'm feeling. 
• Accept that the best approach for responding to a situation is not the same for everyone.

Beyond Your Control
Being in a situation that is beyond your control can drive you crazy even faster than a situation that is within your control. Ironically, in a post about being driven crazy, my irritation is not being able to drive a car. Fortunately, my ability to drive other people crazy is still intact.

My epilepsy and not being seizure free for the required amount of time to be be able to drive are my sources of irritation. Tied to that is my irritation that drivers to understand the feeling of loss when a driver's licence is taken away. 

When you can't drive, you can never: 

• Be alone. No matter where you go in a vehicle, you always have someone with you.
• Get that sense of freedom that comes with getting into a vehicle and just going where you want. If you want to change your destination or stop somewhere in between, you have that option.
• Control the radio station and sing off-key without feeling stupid or being pleaded with to stop.
• Leave when you want to leave instead of waiting until someone else is ready to leave.
• Do something spontaneous like meet someone for coffee. When you don’t drive, everything has to be a big production because you have to figure out the logistics of getting to and from the meeting spot.
• Stay late after work to do something with a co-worker because you have to make arrangements to get home and, even if someone offers to drive you home, you feel guilty about making them go out of their way just for you.
• Be the designated driver. If you go out with people you can’t even big the designated driver. I can’t drink because of my epilepsy medication and I can’t drive. There is no bonus to going out with me unless you count my winning personality.
• Have a sense of independence.  

Suggestions
Here are some suggestions for putting the brakes on being driven crazy:

• Find a healthy outlet like exercise (kickboxing, walking, lifting weights, Zumba classes).
• Practice meditation, even if it is just a couple rounds of deep breathing to take the edge off.
• Deal with irritations/stressors as they arise so that they don't build up.
• Know when it is better to compromise than to prove that you're right. 
• Learn how to let go of a situation. At some point, a situation/event that occurred in the past has to remain in the past.   
• Talk about your irritations with someone, possibly someone who can identify with you. You can even communicate (vent) on some forums and in support groups. For me, I see this venting occur on cancer and epilepsy support sites (including those on Facebook).
• Assign a number to your irritation to give yourself a scale of importance. Getting upset all the time isn't good but neither is avoiding dealing with the situation. Assigning a number means that everything is not a 10 and you can pick and choose your battles.
• ​Recognize that keeping your emotions in check can result in emotional and health issues or put further stress on existing issues. Having had cancer and having epilepsy, I’m very aware of the impact that stress can have on my health (both physically and emotionally). 
• Put a sound-proof and padded room in every home, place of business, or service centre along major highways so that tension and anger can be released on something inanimate rather than other people. I know this is not a realistic suggestion, but a girl still has to have dreams.

Remember that your response to irritation is more important than the source. If you don't deal with your emotions a little bit at a time, all the anger and frustration that you bottle up inside will come out when you least expect it. Take control of how you reach your destination.