Top 10 Lists

---

As 2017 comes to a close, it’s the time of lists. It’s time to trade in your shopping lists for lists that take stock of your year and recognize some of the highlights. 
​
My Personal Highlights
Since we often remember the negative over the positive, it can take some work to remember the things that went well (no matter how small). To help you remember some of your highlights, I have provided a list of my own.

1. Celebrated my son’s wedding to a great girl that he dated for eight years.
2. Hosted three events on consecutive weekends. I am never that social, but two of the three events were tied to my son’s wedding.
3. Presented at a conference in Washington, D.C. on the topic of “Learning Styles and the Cancer Experience.” For your list, recognize your strengths. Personally, I admire anyone who is good at baking or has the confidence to try a new recipe when guests are coming over. Not this lady.
4. Met (in person and through email) some amazing people as a result of my book sales. Meeting anyone new or trying new activities is something to celebrate.
5. Maintained my cancer-free or no-evidence-of-disease status.  I just had my mammogram and haven’t received a phone call asking me to come in for further testing. Until I see my doctor, I will go with no news is good news and believe there is no new cancer.
6. Recognized how lucky I am that both my parents are still alive. Many of my friends have lost one or both their parents. My parents are in their 80s and I still have the opportunity to visit them. In fact, when my father couldn’t attend my son’s wedding, my son and my daughter-in-law dressed in their wedding clothes again and went to see my father.  It was one of my favourite days this year and I wrote a blog post about it called Special Day in Every Way.
7. Made people laugh both in person and through my writing…in most cases, on purpose. There’s nothing like a near spraying of coffee as a result of a smart *ss comment to make me smile.
8. Experienced the thrill of having a working toilet on the same floor as my bedroom after having to walk down two flights of stairs if I had to pee in the middle of the night. 
9. Entertained on our deck because it now has decking on it. Item 2 is the reason that items 8 and 9 were highlights this year. Notice that this highlight is listed after the toilet but before the love of friends and family. There’s nothing wrong with my priorities. :-)
10. Felt the love of friends and family. This really isn’t a separate highlight. It’s pretty much interwoven through all the other highlights (possibly excluding the toilet one). 

​
Your Favourite Blog Posts
If you have read my blog posts and liked, loved or laughed at my posts on Facebook or on my website, I have used your reactions to compile the following list of top 10 blog posts: 

1. The mysteries of cancer…what to say and do
   Before, during, and after a diagnosis, many people don’t know what to day or do to make the cancer patient feel supported. This post provides some suggestions to remove some of the awkwardness.
2. I May Have Done Cancer Wrong
   Many people have a perception of how people will react to a cancer diagnosis. Sometimes, as a cancer patient, you can feel like you are not reacting as expected. I found out that I was not alone in that feeling.
3. You Don’t Look Sick
   This statement is one of those wrong things that people say to people undergoing cancer treatments.  It’s like you may not have cancer if you look better than expected.
4. Before I Had Cancer
   Your thought process and what is important to you changes before, during and after you have had cancer. Cancer is a learning experience…both from the medical aspect, but you may learn the most about yourself.
5. What a Boob!
   We all need a bit of laughter when it comes to breast cancer (well everyone needs to laugh). This is the story of my prosthetic breast starting to leak and the recall of the memories we shared.
6. Worrydom...Don't go there
   A big part of cancer is time spent worrying so it only makes sense that  you would write a poem about it. Who wouldn’t? The number of likes and comments on various Facebook sites helped to make this post a top 10.
7. Running on Empty
   Many of us sometimes feel like it’s only fumes that keep us moving forward. We can feel exhausted both physically and mentally. We all have to be reminded to take some time for ourselves.
8. Hair We Go with Chemo
   One of the most talked about aspects of having chemo is the emotional element associated with hair loss. Sometimes hair loss can feel more important than losing part/all of one or two breasts because it is the most visible sign of cancer and its treatment.
9. Flashbacks to the Cancer Experience
   People talk about the immediate impact of cancer and cancer treatments, but little is said about the long-term emotional element. I was surprised by a sudden onset of emotions when I seemed to handle everything in stride while going through my treatments. 
10. Brain Cannot be Found
    I’ve had chemo. I have epilepsy, so my brain is misfiring on its own. One of the potential side effects of the epilepsy medication can be memory loss. On top of all this, I am approaching 57. Is it any wonder that some days I feel like my brain cannot be found?
11. When One Day at a Time is Too Much
    While people may tell you to take one day at a time, sometimes one day can be too long. Sometimes the duration that you can handle has to be much shorter to keep you from being overwhelmed.

Did you notice? There are 11 items on my top 10 list. This was intentional. The last four posts were pretty much tied, so I decided to add one more. I had to be fair to you, my readers, and to my posts that are vying for your attention.

Our Shared Experiences
When I wrote my book and started writing my blog posts, I didn’t fully appreciate that by sharing my experiences I would be starting a two-way conversation with you, my readers.  While my goal was to help you, you have ultimately helped me. Your reactions to my posts, your comments, and your feedback about my book have made my day/year.  

I get excited when you tell me that what I’ve written is what you’ve been feeling. These comments tell me that I have achieved my goal.

When you respond to a blog post, you tell me what topics are hot and which ones are not. For example, you told me that you like a good boob story, if the reaction to my “What a Boob!” post is to be believed. I also learned that some people who have not had cancer do not feel comfortable reading posts where laughter is associated with cancer.  In fact, I’ve been told, they feel guilty. To demonstrate this point, my personal Facebook page saw little traffic with this, but there was a lot of traffic and responses from the various breast cancer Facebook groups, who could identify with me and knew it was okay to laugh.

Thank you everyone who has shared their journey with me and who has taken the time to not only read my posts but respond to them.

I hope 2018 brings you many top 10 moments and more shared experiences.