Falling for Laughter

With so much snow and the discovery of an interesting instuctions about how to safely walk on ice, all the signs were there that it was time to live up to the laughter aspect of this site. At work, I test software from a usability perspective. My testing is first done in a test region (practice environment) and, if it passes, the software goes into Production (live in the real world). I have used the same approach for describing how to walk on ice. 

Original wording of the instructions
I found the following instructions on the Internet: 
Walk slowly on ice, keeping your body as loose as possible and shorten your stride. Keep your knees loose and bent a little. Place your whole foot down at once on the ice. Then slowly shift your weight from that foot and bring your other foot to meet it the same way. Keep your arms extended at your sides to maintain your balance.

Learning in a practice environment
Prior to actually walking on ice, please do the following:

1. Close your eyes and be the ice. You have the option of continuing your visualization or opening your eyes for the remainder of these procedures. You will be opening your eyes in Production, but only do so when you feel comfortable taking this step.
2. Do some shoulder curls to loosen your shoulders.
3. Shake out your arms to loosen the muscles up.
4. Practice walking back and forth with a shorter stride than usual. Use your best judgement about what is too short.  Since you haven’t loosened your knees and legs, this may feel a little uncomfortable.
5. Do simulated squats to help loosen the knees.
6. Shake out your legs to loosen your leg muscles. 
7. Practice putting your foot down flat by first lifting one leg and then placing it firmly on the ground. This motion is similar to stomping your feet, but in slower motion.
8. Repeat step 7 but with the other leg.
9. String the motions from step 7 and 8 together so that you are alternating the moves from leg to leg.
10. Once you have mastered step 9, practice shifting your weight back and forth as you move your back foot up to where your front foot was placed flat on the practice ice.  This will be similar to walking down the aisle as part of a wedding ceremony.
11. To help with balance, extend your arms loosely but firmly from your sides.
12. Repeat steps 1 to 11 until more and more steps can be combined into one fluid series of movements.

Walking in the real world
Now it's time to put all that practice to good use. You're ready to go live with your new skill set. 

1. Keep your eyes open. You have now become the ice so visualization is no longer required.
2. Step onto an icy surface. Why walk around it?
3. With your arms loosely but firmly extended, lift one foot to take a step forward.
4. Slip on the ice and curse.
5. Crumple printed instructions and strap them to the bottom of your boots for traction.
6. Repeat step 4.
7. Wait for instructions to be written and distributed that describe how to get off the ice once you have fallen.
8. Text your boss or your co-workers to say that you will be late because you have fallen and can’t get up.